Web Marketing in the Star Wars Universe

Posted by Wally Narwhal on Jan 4, 2013 10:46:00 AM


A long time ago, in a galaxy far far away, we can naturally assume that web marketing existed. If the complexities of interstellar travel were made possible by hyperdrives and other forms of super advanced technology, then it would stand to reason that the Star Wars universe also had its own form of the Internet, and therefore, Web Marketing. I guess the scene where Luke Skywalker Googles “How to Become a Jedi”, resulting in a well-placed PPC ad boasting the awesome Jedi Training Program in the Dagobah system, didn’t make the final cut the movie.

Nevertheless, it would be kind of fun to associate some of the constituents of Web Marketing with some of the characters from the movies (I am of course referring to episodes IV, V, and VI for all you hardcore Star Wars nerds out there). So without further ado, let’s take a look at which character best exemplifies which Web Marketing tactic being used today.

Facebook- The staple. The go-to. The cool guy that everyone wants to be. He gets all the girls and never loses his cool in a sticky situation. Han Solo best exemplifies Facebook because he climbed the ranks of the Rebel Army in no time flat and became a leader in the cause against evil. Ok, so that last part may have been pretty dramatic, but you certainly couldn’t have had Star Wars without Han just like you can’t have Web Marketing without Facebook. Branding, building an online community, and creating brand evangelists, Facebook is the most popular guy you know.

Pay-Per-Click Advertising- This tactic, much like Obi-Wan-Kenobi, has been around since the earlier days of the Internet and is a tried and true method of generating traffic to your website. Targeting your audience by keyword is luxury Google is able to provide and this form of advertising is a mainstay of Google’s revenue stream. Wise, experienced, and necessary, PPC can be a great teacher and a force of good in the galaxy.

Black hat SEO Tactics- Artificial directory submissions, keyword stuffing, and cloaking are all paths that lead toward the dark side (insert incessant Darth Vader breathing here). The ultimate force of evil in the eyes of Google, these tactics can result in your website dropping off the rankings or being banned from Google completely. Like the dark side, it may sound like a good idea initially, but inevitably leads you to a life of loneliness and unpopularity.

White hat SEO Tactics- These tactics are the yin to the yang of black hat tactics. Just as there is a balance of good and evil to the force, there must also be SEO that is both content driven and more or less accepted by Google. Good SEO is done by creating content for the user, not the search algorithm. In terms of good SEO: “Do or do not, there is no try.”

Google Analytics- Just as this gold-plated android works in human-cyborg relations, Google Analytics shows you human behavior in observable, quantitative data. With metrics that you’ve never even heard of, Google Analytics has defined itself as THE tool for online consumer behavior monitoring. Housing a wealth of data, this tool is something no web marketer can do without.

Twitter-“It’s a Trap!” The line that was immortalized by Admiral Ackbar as he realized the Empire lured the unsuspecting Rebel force into an unwinnable firefight at the Battle of Endor serves as great allegory for how Twitter has its users glued to their Timelines. Part of every social media marketer’s repertoire, Twitter is becoming more and more useful and boasts a Google Page Rank of 10.

Chewbacca- “Nnnargh hgraoo rrhaa! Hnaarr oorrawarr! Arrawarrgh graa! Arrrarroowwrrerr!” Chewie is really only here because you can’t have a blog that talks about Star Wars without him. Plus, I was really curious to see how the onomatopoeia of his growls would look typed out.

Google Express- The new kid on the block and the person that is supposed to bring balance to the force (or in this case, search engine optimization). This is Google’s new method of combining their local search with paid advertising to give the user a more concise result, especially for businesses. Companies can now pay to be ranked higher in local search results and be part of a new trend in Pay-Per-Click Advertising.

Well there you have it. Web Marketing explained in the context of the Star Wars universe. You never thought you would see the day, but there it is. If this better helped you understand some of the tactics that we as web marketers employ, then my job is done. If not, well then, it was fun anyway. May the force be with you!

Wally Narwhal

Written by Wally Narwhal

Wally overseas (get it?) fun and silliness at Tribute Media as the company's acting mascot and unicorn of the sea.

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